Submitting a pull request is like publishing your diary and then watching your teammates annotate it with red ink and passive-aggressive emojis.

You finally finish your feature—a button that actually works—and create a PR. You title it “Minor Fix,” because “Hours of existential dread condensed into 4 lines” doesn’t fit well in Jira.

Soon, the review begins.

• Reviewer 1: “Can you rename this variable?”
  (You named it data. How dare you not call it dataFromThatWeirdAPIButWithErrorsHandledMaybe.)

• Reviewer 2: “Nice work!”
  (But doesn’t approve. Just… vibes.)

• Reviewer 3: “This entire approach is wrong, but I’ll approve anyway.”
  (A power move meant to haunt you forever.)

Then comes the classic:

“This works, but have you considered rewriting it in Rust for performance?”

You weren’t even trying to optimize. You just wanted the button to not explode.

Eventually, someone with commit rights merges it. You celebrate by refreshing the staging site 84 times. The feature works. Then QA files a new ticket:
“Button works, but now the footer is upside down.”

You add it to the backlog, never to be seen again.

🪄 Wisdom:

A code review is where your imposter syndrome meets peer pressure and they form a startup called “Just Fix It.”