Welcome to the Theatre of Agile!

Every day at 10 a.m., millions of developers are yanked from their code like a USB without safely ejecting. Why? To stand in a circle and declare, “I’m blocked by the API team,” while the API team, standing 2 feet away, pretends to take notes.

These meetings were designed to be short. “15 minutes max,” they said. But much like JavaScript frameworks, what was once lightweight and efficient has become bloated with dependencies (i.e., product managers, designers, random interns).

Meanwhile, the only thing getting “sprinted” is your patience. And let’s not forget the sacred question:

Scrum Master: “Did anyone do anything ‘fun’ this weekend?”
Entire Team: muted mics and dead eyes

Spoiler: we debugged code, drank Red Bull, and questioned our life choices.

🪄 Wisdom:

So next time you stand up for a meeting, ask yourself—am I standing for progress or just stretching before another round of “I’ll update the ticket”?
Remember : Real productivity starts the moment the call ends.